Dear Friends,

It’s that time of the year when the stores are crowded, and the parking lots are worse. For most of us, finding the energy to go shopping is a real challenge, made more difficult by having to expend that energy walking from the parking area to the store. Thankfully, there is relief from this problem in the form of Handicapped parking placards or license plates. The law requires that a certain number of handicapped spaces be allotted per number of regular spaces. These designated spaces must be nearest to the entrance of the adjacent store or building.

Having access to the handicapped spaces can be a problem, however. My physician has been very willing to sign the necessary paperwork allowing me to get a handicapped placard. In fact, I had my first one when I was still working. I was employed at a large hospital and had a long walk to get to the unit where I worked. The doctor gave me the special parking permit to allow more energy for work, and it helped. Then I went a number of years without special parking, because I worked in small facilities, so parking was not a problem. When I left work on disability last year, and I was experiencing more pain and increasing fatigue, I asked my doctor to allow me to have a Handicapped placard again.

Most of us think of the parking spaces being for those in wheelchairs or using walkers or some other sort of mobility assistance. But the law covering Handicapped parking includes those of us with hidden disabilities as well. It will occasionally be a problem for some member of the public because he/she is unable to perceive our disability, and will question why we are using that space. I remember an incident at a restaurant a number of years ago. I was with my mother, who used a cane. We parked in the Handicapped spot with the use of her placard. A member of the public took it upon himself to “chew me out” for using that space, before he saw my mother and her cane. He stopped yelling at me when he saw her, but didn’t apologize. Whether this man had a relative who had a disability, or he was angry because he didn’t get to use the space illegally, I don’t know. But hidden disabilities can create this reaction.

Yesterday, I went to one of the “big box stores” where I shop on occasion, and where I get my prescriptions. All I needed to do was drop off some new prescriptions. There are usually not enough Handicapped spaces at this store anyway, and the parking lot is always full. Yesterday, the only Handicapped space that was empty was occupied by about 10 shopping carts. There was a cart return area very near, but these carts were in the handicapped space. I don’t know if they were put there by patrons or an employee prior to collection. In any case, this caused me to have to park at the outer edge of the lot, a long walk just to drop off prescriptions.

I know I should have gone into the store and complained, especially when there were several employees congregated outside the door who could have dealt with this problem. But I didn’t. Why? Because my disability is hidden and I did not want to explain why the carts in the Handicapped space was a problem for me. So, I walked the extra distance and dealt with the ensuing pain and fatigue. But I shouldn’t have to. Nor should I have to explain myself to others. If I have a Handicapped placard, there should be no questions.

On the other side of the coin, there are times when I feel somewhat guilty for using the designated spaces. When I see someone in a wheelchair who was unable to find a space. Or when I see and older person struggling to make the long walk that probably would have been easier for me.

There are also times when I see a car parked in one of the spaces without a Handicapped permit. I usually try to take the “high road” and assume that the person forgot to hang their permit on the mirror. I have forgotten occasionally. But we all know there are people who abuse use of the designated parking spaces.

Occasionally when I feel well enough, I don’t use my Handicapped placard. I know that walking is good for me. But I am glad I have it for those days when I have to be out, but certainly don’t feel up to it. I don’t think any of us with the hidden disability of CFIDS/FM should deny ourselves the use of a Handicapped permit. Our disability is just as real and difficult for us as are those disabilities that are apparent to everyone. It may mean we’ll get a little grief occasionally. It also means that we are able to do things which might be impossible without the use of the Handicapped spaces.

There was a time when I would have responded to one of those questioning my right to use the space with a critical comment, perhaps questioning his “hidden” disability, a sad lack of intelligence. I now find myself not willing to waste the energy by causing a possible confrontation. I usually just walk away from a confrontational comment. If I am really pushed, I might respond by questioning the person’s level of compassion.

Handicapped parking is a necessity for many of us. Don’t let the judgment of others take this privilege away from you. Don’t be ashamed to use this freedom just because you have a hidden disability. I know I would give up the advantage in exchange for a return of my health. Wouldn’t you? Take care and be well.

Yours in Health,

Eunice

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I welcome your comments and questions at: copingcorner@prohealthinc.com. My articles and email responses are not being offered as those of a health care provider. The information and opinions included are intended to give you some information about your disease. It is very important that you empower yourself with knowledge and participate in your own search for care. Any advice given is not intended to take the place of advice of your physician or mental health care provider. Always follow your physician's advice, even if contradicted by something written here. You and your physician know your situation far better than I do. Thank you and be well. Eunice